We get it, okay? You want your kid's 7th birthday party to be the bash of the CENTURY. We all want our kids to have a great time.
But for the love of all that is Holy, can we stop with the insane Pinterest trends? The pressure to put all this time and effort into personalized lootbags or a cake made entirely out of Reese's Pieces is just unreasonable, okay?
Not to mention half the stuff you send my kid home with is covered in glitter, which subsequently ends up all over my house.
Creativity and fun are always important, but these are the trends we need you to stop immediately, please. It's pretty obvious you're more concerned about what the other parents think about you than the kids.
1. Edible Animal Poop
When my kid comes home eating ACTUAL rabbit pellets, you're paying the hospital bill. Why not dinosaur FOOD? Why does it have to be POOP?
2. Themes that are lame
It's a child's birthday party, not a brunch. I mean, sure. If your child ASKS that you have a pajama and pancake party then have at it. But I shouldn't have to send my child to a party in her "Sunday Best."
3. "Unicorn" or "Rainbow" things
Sending my kid to a party always guarantees a sugar crash, and I'm not expecting that to end. But "rainbow" and "unicorn" are code for "5 different sugar juices plus 6 cups of sugar and also liquid sugar" which frankly, doesn't even taste good.
4. Glitter balloons
Does this even need to be said? It's cute and pretty but when it pops at MY house? It feels like an attack.
5. Literally any game that involves mouths
Bobbing for apples may be a fun game when it's your family, but please don't make my child go mouth-fishing in a pool of slobber. Most people have hands.
6. Selfie Stations
It's a party! Let them interact with each other! Please don't keep them on their phones at all times.
7. Fancy cupcakes
What happened to a traditional birthday cake?? This seems like whole process. How do you carry this out and sing happy birthday?
8. Treating it like a wedding.
I know the saying is "go big or go home" but when you start spending hundreds of dollars
9. Puppy parties
So many things wrong with this. Just...so many? Puppies are not toys. Let's not teach kids that they are.