1. The Gossip
We all know this person. Honestly, most of us probably are this person. The Gossip wants to know anything and everything about everyone. They'll ask not-so-subtle questions trying to squeeze the juicy details out of you. While The Gossip thinks they're being sly, everyone else sees a neon bar sign hanging above their head saying "DON'T TELL ME THINGS I'M SHADY." Sometimes when they start digging you want to say "That information is property of Beeswax, Not Yours Inc.", but you just shrug it off with a light laugh and make a mental note to never say anything incriminating in front of them.
2. The Power-Tripper
Maybe they were left in charge for 5 minutes, or maybe they just feel they deserve to be working somewhere more important. Either way The Power Tripper is everyone's least favorite co-worker. You know what, Jessica? We've all been working here for the same amount of time and just because YOU were left in charge of assigning tasks to do doesn't make you any less of a part-time employee of this company. So maybe get off the IKEA website and stop redecorating the manager's desk in your head, and do your fair share of the store wash-down.
3. The Chatter
Choosing between small talk and eating a handful of poison ivy, I would preemptively drink calamine lotion every day of my life. But we've all been stuck working with The Chatter, who wants to know "How's life?" and "What's new?" We literally worked together yesterday. What's new is the 3-hour nap I took today instead of applying for jobs and doing my laundry. The Chatter means well but you can't help but tense up at just the sight of their eager smile, wondering what dinner party topics you will be forced to partake in your entire shift.
4. The Elusive
Sometimes you don't believe this person really exists. You probably have contrasting schedules: you work evenings, they work days. And sure, everyone tells you The Elusive is great, but all you're saying is you've yet to see them for longer than 5 minutes at a time and can't be 100% sure they aren't just part of an elaborate prank the rest of the store is pulling on you. And when you DO finally see The Elusive, you're both dumbfounded. It's like spotting BigFoot. Should I take a picture of this? Does ABC News know they truly exist?
5. The Work Wife
AKA your best work friend. This is the person you search on the schedule the second it comes out to see how many shifts you're working together. The Work Wife hasmany responsibilities, including but not limited to: bringing you snacks on long shifts because they know you won't have remembered to bring a lunch, listening to you whine and complain about the other four aforementioned co-workers, and most importantly, threatening to quit if you ever decide to leave this place.
Which one are you?