As the trial of Michelle Carter continues, new evidence was released Thursday- a video recorded of Conrad Roy who killed himself exactly 1 month after it was taken.
"I have a lot going for me," the 18-year-old said in the video that was recorded on June 12, 2014. "I just have to get the cobwebs out."
Conrad was found dead in his pickup truck suffering carbon monoxide poisoning on July 12, 2014.
Prosecutors are trying his then 17-year-old girlfriend about her involvement in the teen's death.
Conrad had a history of mental illness and had previously attempted suicide.
In his video released in 2 parts he shares the types of feelings that were going through his head at the time.
"What I am doing is looking at myself so negatively, looking at myself... this minuscule little particle on the face of this earth, this no-good trash, will never be successful, never have a life, never have kids, never learn. But I have lot to offer someone," Roy said in the video.
"I’m introverted, I'm nice and caring ... there's some benefits. I’m a nice kid. But it's come to a point where I’m just … too nice."
He continues to talk about his social anxiety and trying to accept himself for who he is.
"Yes I can develop as a person. Be more fluent, articulate, passionate about who I am. Or I can just go home, sit in my basement, and just do nothing about it. Just sit in my sorrows, weep and cry over something that is in the past," he says.
"Or I can just take it day-by-day, step-by-step. I mean it's going to be difficult to accomplish, but I need to, for personal growth, accomplish this sense of self-pride in myself. Because depression or social anxiety, it means you don’t like yourself. The sooner I like myself, the better I’m going to be."
"I do have a lot going for me," he said. "I'm fucking captain ... that's a huge accomplishment to be a captain," he said.
"I just have to get the cobwebs out," he said. "Turn the gears."
Michelle is charged with involuntary manslaughter, which could carry up to 20 years in prison if a judge finds her guilty.
She asked Roy when he was going to kill himself over 40 times during the course of their relationship according to prosecutors.
A series of text messages exchanged in July 2014 were presented to the court on Thursday.
Michelle's lawyers argue that Conrad's suicide was his own choice and that he had been on the path to taking his own life for many years.