Every day, we try to make little changes that will improve our lives. Sometimes it's adding an extra helping of vegetables to your meal, sometimes it's leaving 15 minutes earlier so that you can avoid traffic, and sometimes it's making a point to smile at a stranger. These are all small things that can make a big difference.
But there comes a point in everyone's life when they realize they need to make a big change. For me, I was 22 years old when it happened, and I'm forever grateful it did.
Let's start off by saying I have always struggled with my weight. I'm open about it, even though sometimes it can be hard, because I think it's something many people struggle with and it's nothing to be embarrassed about. I was bullied for my weight in school. I was told I should become bulimic because I'd make more friends, and that I never had to worry about being raped because I wasn't pretty enough for anyone to want to rape me. I learned to file those thoughts away, though to this day they still come out and haunt me.
When I hit my second year of university, I was living in my own apartment with one of my best friends, and this whole new world opened up to me: I got to buy my own food. If I wanted cookies, I could buy cookies. If I wanted McDonald's for every meal of the day, I could do that too. This unsupervised world was something I had never experienced, and I took advantage of it.
As second year went on, I would see pictures of myself and think "oh it must be the angle, that's why my face looks like that." I blamed clothing stores for making their sizes smaller and smaller every time I went shopping. I blamed literally everything else in my life except for myself. That was a problem.
By the time I was done second year, I was not only miserable, but I was the largest I had ever been. I never weighed myself, but I knew that all my clothes weren't fitting and that was proof enough for me. That summer, my friend and her family invited me to go to Disney World and Universal Studios with them, all I had to do was pay for my flight and they would cover the rest. I was thrilled. The trip was going relatively well. I found myself getting tired a lot, but I blamed that on the heat (I'm telling you...literally anything else.)
Then something happened that I will never forget, and it changed the way I live my life now.