There's an old expression that warns to "let the punishment fit the crime," but we bet these 7 crooks weren't expecting their judges to take it so literally!
1. A cut for a cut
Teenage bully Kaytlen Lopan found herself in front of a judge after cutting off a toddler's hair with scissors at a local McDonald's. Judge Scott Johansen sentenced the 13-year-old to 276 hours of community service and 40 days in jail, but offered to lighten the sentence if Lopan's mom would cut off her daughter's ponytail.
Lopan's mom took his offer, and the judge kept his word, snipping 150 hours off the sentence. The young victim's mom loved the sentence, and actually complained that Lopan's mom didn't cut enough hair off!
2. Kiss and make up
Joseph Bray from Plantation, Florida was charged with domestic violence, but his wife asked Judge John Hurley to go easy on them, saying that she wasn't hurt during the incident, or afraid of her husband.
To make up for his bad behavior - which all began after Bray forgot his wife's birthday - the judge ordered him to dress up nice, buy his wife flowers and a card, and then take her to dinner. "Get dressed, take her to Red Lobster," he said. "And then after they have Red Lobster, they're going to go bowling." Along with the date night, Bray was ordered to get counseling.
3. "Can't Smile Without You"
Judge Paul Sacco from Fort Lupton, Colorado came up with a creative way to cut down on noise violations: giving rule-breakers a taste of their own medicine.
After the noise violators forced their neighbors to listen to their music (usually rock and roll or hip hop) the defendants were forced to listen to some of Sacco's records at full volume for an hour.
Some of his favorite songs included nursery rhymes, TV theme songs and the musical stylings of Barry Manilow. Is he sure that's not a "cruel and unusual" punishment?
Find out why a man was sentenced to dress up as a chicken on the next page!
4. House arrest
A landlord from Cleveland was accused of letting his tenants live in unsafe buildings while pocketing the money they paid him for repairs. To show him what it was like for his victims, Judge Ray Pianka gave the man house arrest with a devious twist.
After paying a $100,000 fine and giving his tenants their money back, the landlord was ordered to spend 6 months in one of the dilapidated buildings he owned, and only allowed to leave if he was repairing other units. Tough, but fair.
5. Off the rack, off the hook
A shoplifter from Toronto, Canada thought he was in big trouble when he was caught red-handed shoplifting a shirt and tie, but after explaining that it was for a job interview the cop had a change of heart.
The 18-year-old was obviously regretful, and explained that he needed the clothes to land a job and support his struggling family. Constable Niran Jeyanesan let the man go, saying that his story proves "behind every action there's a reason why this person is doing it," and it this case it wasn't worth an arrest.
89-year-old Heidi Kohl from Germany thought she could get revenge on her neighbors for their bad parking skills, and slashed the tires on dozens of cars on her street. The elderly crook was spotted by a neighbor and arrested, but made a unique plea bargain.
Kohl knew she wouldn't be able to pay back the fine, and offered to knit sweaters for her victims instead. How thoughtful (except for slashing their tires in the first place).
7. Every single one of Judge Michael Cicconetti's cases
While every judge has a stroke of genius every so often, Ohio Judge Michael Cicconetti has earned a reputation for his creative punishments. Once, when a woman left a box of kittens in a public park overnight, he made her choose between a harsh sentence and a smaller one that also required her to sleep in the same park overnight.
Some of his other cases are more lighthearted:
- A man who called a cop a "pig" was forced to sit outside the police station with a 350 pound porker and a sign saying "This is not a police officer."
- A man who vandalized a donkey statue in a nativity scene was forced to walk down the street with a donkey and a sign reading "Sorry for the jackass offence."
- Men who tried to hire a cop posing as a prostitute were forced to dress up as chickens, holding signs reading "No chicken ranch in Painesville."
In his most daring verdict of all, after a woman pepper sprayed employees at a Burger King he offered her a lower sentence. All she had to do was agree to be pepper sprayed by her victim.
The woman agreed, but the "pepper spray" the bailiff handed her victim was only water. Still, she learned an important lesson that day!
Did these punishments go too far? Share this list and tell us!