My family loves to play little jokes and pranks, but we have one rule we all abide by: don't mess with the treats. After all, on Christmas, chocolate is basically sacred. From the giant cocoa Santas, to the more decadent Ferrero Rocher.
Judy Brown, if you're listening, you are not invited to my house for Christmas.
She is possibly the best prankster I have ever read about, but she broke my family's rule (albeit in hilarious fashion).
She had plenty of time to perfect her prank too, you see it all started in 2016.
Some of you out there may recall that in 2016 I played an excellent Christmas prank on my long-suffering Dad. It worked a treat. pic.twitter.com/srfaVgLF2J— Judy Brown (@mcjude) December 25, 2018
Back in the golden year of 2016, Brown placed a Brussels sprout and wrapped it in Ferrero Rocher's iconic golden gilded foil. Her poor, sweet, innocent, unsuspecting father, eager to unwrap the chocolatey goodness, was so disappointed to find an ugly, green Brussels sprout where his treat should be.
From that point on he swore off any chocolates bought by his daughter. So she waited.
She told the story of what happened on Twitter and now she likely has a loyal following.
Last year I decided to play the long game & didn't tamper with the confectionary: spooked by the year before, he would not touch a single Ferrero Rocher (which was great because he usually inhales them at 750mph) so there were Ferreros aplenty for the rest of us. I bided my time.— Judy Brown (@mcjude) December 25, 2018
She took 2017 off, to let her father recover from the trauma of the last Brussels sprout prank, and to make him feel more comfortable. Yet 2018 wouldn't be so peaceful.
And so, yesterday, home for Christmas and with the devil at my elbow, I embarked on my most audacious sprout prank yet. pic.twitter.com/zr24u6Ve0g— Judy Brown (@mcjude) December 25, 2018
She sought to make her dad's trust issues deeper, so she went grocery shopping. On the list: chocolate, hazelnuts, Ferrero Rocher's, and Brussels sprouts.
While he was out I dipped the sprouts in chocolate, rolled them in chopped hazelnuts, and did all I could to replicate the iconic Ferrerro. pic.twitter.com/UgvLOXeXWJ— Judy Brown (@mcjude) December 25, 2018
In a plot most foul, Brown dressed up the sprouts to look like the world's best chocolates.
I re-wrapped and (this is crucial) re-sealed the box with its original tape and a tiny dab of glue. Then secreted it amongst a bag of tasty gifts from my Aunt and retired to watch from afar pic.twitter.com/hkIThpvByI— Judy Brown (@mcjude) December 25, 2018
To cement her evil genius status, Brown resealed the box of chocolates. How was her unsuspecting father to know?!
Last night he viewed them with suspicion when they came out the bag... but I was out all day, how could I have tampered with them? He abstained and they sat in the kitchen all night.— Judy Brown (@mcjude) December 25, 2018
Perhaps operating on instinct, Brown's father didn't open the box when he saw them. I wonder if at this point she started to feel guilty, since clearly her last prank affected him so much.
This bright Christmas morning we were gathered round the tree, drinking tea and opening presents. Dad eyed the box. He quite likes a post-brekkie Ferrero. He approached. I hovered in the kitchen, careful not to spook him.— Judy Brown (@mcjude) December 25, 2018
No, it appears she doesn't feel guilty.
And Lo! He opened. He EXAMINED. He unwrapped. He examined FURTHER. Fears allayed, he popped the whole thing in his mouth. His face played a symphony of emotions: satisfaction, triumph, smugness, consternation, confusion, realisation, horror, disgust.— Judy Brown (@mcjude) December 25, 2018
POOR SOUL! Can you imagine the moment you bite into a Ferrero Rocher and it turns out to be a foul, disgusting, bitter Brussels sprout? Treachery!
I am still chuckling. I will all day long. I know his retribution will be swift and terrible, but no Christmas gift could be greater than this: seeing my Dad, despite his efforts to avoid it, unwittingly eat a raw sprout. Merry Christmas, one and all. pic.twitter.com/RYV6pvYqbe— Judy Brown (@mcjude) December 25, 2018
I'm not a fan of Brussels sprouts and I'm very much a fan of chocolate. That said, this prank is absolutely ingenious. Brown's getting much deserved praise all over the internet, which might give her a reprieve from her father's revenge.
If he does get her back, hopefully we hear about it on Twitter.