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Farrah Abraham Reveals "Suicidal Thoughts" After Love Of Her Life's Death

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Farrah Abraham may not be your favorite person, but it's hard to deny that she experienced tragedy at a young age. While she was pregnant with her daughter Sophia in high school, Farrah's boyfriend Derek Underwood passed away in a car accident. She was not only pregnant at 16, but now Farrah also had to go it alone.

Farrah has always been open about Derek and how she misses him, and makes sure that Sophia knows "Daddy Derek" is watching over her. This year was the 10th anniversary of Derek's death, and Farrah made sure to honor his life.

The former Teen Mom star wrote a touching post about Derek's life and impact on the world.

"These last couple of days have been some of the best days in my life, today is the 10th Anniversary of Sophia's Father, Derek Underwood, the love of my life's car accident 12/28/2008 that changed my life forever," Farrah wrote on Instagram. "Seeing Sophia spend the night at her dad's parents house on the 10th anniversary fills me with joy."

Sophia and Farrah spent some time with Derek's family, and everyone seemed to be having a great time. It's unusual to see Farrah so toned-down, but some things are more important than stardom.

Farrah also revealed in her post that she had suicidal thoughts after Derek's death.

"I can't believe I even lived to see this day as I never thought I would get through the sadness, suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety and hardships of loosing [sic] someone I loved this much who I thought I would be with today," she wrote. "Today marks a new decade with the family and loved ones who held through this decade and now were filled with love, gratefulness, and confidence that we are blessed with the best angel of Derek watching over us, this new decade, new year will be one of our best and I'm so thankful and feeling so happy."

Seeing pictures of Farrah and Derek together, it hurts knowing that he never got to meet his daughter. But Farrah knows that he's still in their lives.

"Thank you Derek for watching over us all & showing me to live my best life with our daughter like it could be our last. So much love."

Farrah continued her talk of Derek on her Instagram story, where she mentioned that some days are easier than others.

"As far as I can see, grief will never truly end," she said. "It may become softer over time, more gentle, and some days will feel sharp. But grief will last as long as love does -- forever. It's simply the way the absence of your loved one manifests in your heart. A deep longing, accompanied by the deepest love. Some days, the heavy fog may return, and the next day, it may recede, once again. It's all an ebb and flow, a constant dance of sorrow and joy, pain and sweet love."

Sophia also posted a message to her dad on her own Instagram page, accompanied with some sweet pictures of her and his family.

"I loved getting to visit my dad on his 10th Anniversary since his car accident I loved spending the night with grandpa Jerry and seeing family in Kansas City, I love you dad and wish I can meet you it's hard through the years but love you watch over me."

Say what you will about Farrah as a person, but her dedication to making sure her daughter has a connection to her father is admirable.

We hope that Farrah and Sophia can find peace in knowing that Derek is watching over them.

Donna loves spending time in front of the TV catching up on dramas, but in the summer you'll find her in the garden.