How Many Is Too Many? Men and Women Agree on the Ideal Number of Partners

Everyone talks about the 'magic' number and whether they're embarrassed by it, or curious how they stack up against their friends and partners.

Whether you feel you're on the "low side" of the spectrum or a "high number" may scare off potential romances, talking about past lovers can make for an uncomfortable situation.

Now a new survey has revealed what both men and women think the ideal number of sexual partners and the results may surprise you.


In a survey done by, a dating website for married people, found that both men and women agreed that 12 was the perfect number of lovers to have had in your life.

But why 12?

12 shows that a person is "sexually adventurous", "liberal" and "transient". Whereas fewer than 10 partners send that message that the person is "too conservative" and "sexually inexperienced", according to the research.

On the other end of the scale, both men and women agreed that anything above 19 partners posed a red flag. This group would be considered to be "too selfish", "difficult to please" or "too eager to jump from partner to partner".

But how important is this magic number, really?

45% of women said they wanted to know how many people their partner had slept with, while 53% of men would want to ask the question.

"Men are a little more self-conscious when it comes to competition," said Christian Grant, spokesman for "They want to be seen as the biggest and best; whether that stems from genuinely wanting to satisfy their partner or to massage their own ego is another matter entirely."

"Women on the other hand, they're just happy to enjoy the moment, past experiences aside."

After studies confirm how often and for how long you should be having sex, this is an interesting addition.

How do you stack up?