On Father's Day, James Van Der Beek took to Instagram to announce that he and his wife of eight years, Kimberly, welcomed their fifth child, a daughter named Gwendolyn.
"Thrilled to announce we welcomed a brand new baby girl into the world Friday morning, just in time for #FathersDay ðŸ˜," the Dawson's Creek alum captioned the Instagram post. He added, "Oh, and @vanderkimberly - you're a f*cking earth goddess rock star and I'm as in awe of you as I am in love with you. And our new baby's name is Gwendolyn â¤ï¸ #HappyFathersDay everybody."
Little did fans know that they suffered a loss before just months before their little girl's arrival. Sadly, it wasn't the first time that the actor and his wife have experienced a miscarriage.
James, who often shares nuggets of parenting wisdom on social media, recently penned one of his most emotional posts yet. He opened up about the pain of losing three unborn children in hopes that his story will reach those who have experienced something similar.
"Wanted to say a thing or two about miscarriages... of which we've had three over the years (including right before this little beauty [Gwendolyn])," he wrote before pointing out that "we need a new word for it [miscarriage]."
Unfortunately, one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, and although many women assume it's their fault, the Pose star wants to make it clear that it isn't.
"'Mis-carriage,' in an insidious way, suggests fault for the mother - as if she dropped something, or failed to 'carry,'" James continued. "From what I've learned, in all but the most obvious, extreme cases, it has nothing to do with anything the mother did or didn't do. So let's wipe all blame off the table before we even start."
He describes the pain as something that will "tear you open like nothing else."
He added:
"It's painful and it's heartbreaking on levels deeper than you may have ever experienced. So don't judge your grief, or try to rationalize your way around it. Let it flow in the waves in which it comes, and allow it it's rightful space. And then... once you're able... try to recognize the beauty in how you put yourself back together differently than you were before. Some changes we make proactively, some we make because the universe has smashed us, but either way, those changes can be gifts."
James gives parents whose babies didn't survive pregnancy hope by explaining that after the experience "many couples become closer than ever before. Many parents realize a deeper desire for a child than ever before. And many, many, many couples go on to have happy, healthy, beautiful babies afterwards (and often very quickly afterwards - you've been warned)."
He concluded by urging people to share words they think could replace the term "miscarriage."
"I've heard some amazing metaphysical explanations for them, mostly centering around the idea that these little souls volunteer for this short journey for the benefit of the parents... but please share whatever may have given you peace or hope along the way... Along with a new word for this experience," he wrote.
Some people already came up with some great suggestions, including "Pre-term Labor" and "Love Baby."
More and more celebrities have been very candid about losing their unborn children.
One Tree Hill star and former Dancing With The Stars contestant Jana Kramer opened up about losing her baby last Christmas, shortly after revealing her pregnancy.
"Today I am 1-3," Kramer wrote in the emotional post, which included a picture of Kramer holding the ultrasound photo of the baby she lost. "I debated posting this for the exact reason why it's a silent struggle. I don't want I'm sorry or sympathy. I just don't want to feel alone. And I know I'm not."
Like the Van Der Beeks, this wasn't Jana's first loss, but her faith and strength helped her overcome the pain. In June, she announced that she and her husband, former NFL player Mike Caussin, have a rainbow baby on the way.
"I'm so excited," the "Dammit" singer said during an exclusive interview with People. "We lost in October and then we did an IVF cycle and we lost in February, so I want to be able to be like, "˜Hey, I know it's hard but just try to have some hope.'"
Kudos to James, Jana, and all the other parents who bravely open up about their losses, so other people can know that they aren't alone.
