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Blogger's Heartbreaking Post About Losing A Mother Hits Way Too Close To Home

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Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things many of us will go through in this lifetime, and because everyone copes differently, no two people will grieve the same.

There are those who seem to be able to heal and move on fast, but for some others, the deep pain and sadness of grief can take years before it starts to become less intense.

Nikki Pennington lost her mother to brain cancer five years ago, but no matter how much time has passed, the pain still feels fresh to her.

The mom and Grief to Hope blogger recently poured her feelings in a post on Facebook, and it's breathtakingly beautiful.

Pennington wrote about how she is constantly looking for her mother everywhere despite knowing that she is gone forever.

"You'll search for her the minute she leaves in that very room," she wrote. "You'll search the sky. You'll search online. You'll search group forums. You'll search old messages. You'll search old text messages. You'll search old letters. You'll search old cards. You'll search for her. You'll search old high school yearbooks. You'll search old photo albums. You'll search the memories of old friends. You'll search her things. You'll even search the crowds."

Nikki Pennington's mother passed away from brain cancer five years ago. Grief To Hope with Nikki Pennington/Facebook

She opens up about the bittersweet sentiment that she feels on special occasions, like her wedding day, the birth of her child, and holidays.

She continued, "When the days are hard and when they are good. When the times are difficult and when they are so good that pure joy is filling your soul. When you are sitting on your back porch trying to sort out all your problems you'll look over because even if for a minute you'll be searching for her."

However, Pennington also shares a message of hope when she talks about accepting loss, and finding her mother in unexpected places.

"Then one day you won't have to search any longer because you'll find her," she added. "You'll find her in the gentle breeze. You'll find her in the words to your favorite song. You'll find her in your child's smile. You'll find her more and more as the days pass and then one day you'll realize she's been there all along."

It took her some time to get through all the stages of grief, but Pennington is now comforted in knowing that her mother has continued to live through her and her children.

"You didn't need to search far to find her because you are her daughter and that means a part of her is always with you," she concluded.

You can read Pennington's entire post below:

And when she dies you'll search for her no matter how long she's been gone

You'll search for her the minute she leaves in that very room

You'll search the sky

You'll search online

You'll search group forums

You'll search old messages

You'll search old text messages

You'll search old letters

You'll search old cards

You'll search for her

You'll search old high school yearbooks

You'll search old photo albums

You'll search the memories of old friends

You'll search her things

You'll even search the crowds

Even though someone told you she's gone, you'll still search for her

And when you are walking down the aisle, when your baby is born and when the holidays come around, you'll search the room for her

When the days are hard and when they are good

When the times are difficult and when they are so good that pure joy is filling your soul

When you are sitting on your back porch trying to sort out all your problems you'll look over because even if for a minute you'll be searching for her

Then one day you won't have to search any longer because you'll find her

You'll find her in the gentle breeze

You'll find her in the words to your favorite song

You'll find her in your child's smile

You'll find her more and more as the days pass and then one day you'll realize she's been there all along

You didn't need to search far to find her because you are her daughter and that means a part of her is always with you.

It's comforting to know that even if a loved one is no longer here physically, their spirit will always be with you.

Blair isn't a bestselling author, but she has a knack for beautiful prose. When she isn't writing for Shared, she enjoys listening to podcasts.