8 Times Raccoons Proved They Were Really Just Drunk Humans

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Raccoons, nature's thieving, mischief-making little court jesters. Never mind Finding Nemo and its clown fish, raccoons are the real jokesters of the animal kingdom.

The cute furry little critters that we've all seen are scavengers, they are also omnivores. That means that like to root out something to eat, and they eat just about everything. That curious nature, combined with having hands almost as useful as human hands, leads these adorable animals to get into a lot of trouble.


Take this raccoon for instance. Maybe he heard the call of his country and decided to enlist, but more likely he got peckish. Either way, this obese raccoon decided to sniff out some scrumptions snacks inside an army tank. The fatso got stuck in a turret, but thankfully the Ohio National Guard was there to rescue him.

Stop, Thief!

As cute as they are, raccoons don't have a very good understanding of personal property. They seem to live by the idea "what's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine." Hardly the most generous of North America's wildlife, raccoons are notorious thieves. Just look at this brazen robbery of 2 defenseless house cats. They just stand and watch the whole thing unfold.

Baywatch Moment

That's not to say that raccoons are all selfish. They actually form fairly close friendships with each other and will defend each other from predators and strangers (but not bad choices.) You can see that friendship at work here when one raccoon decides to go for an afternoon swim. His friend isn't having any of it, probably because he didn't wait 30 minutes after eating.

Although I don't think there's anything that will ever top the time raccoons broke into a beer warehouse and got drunk.

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