There's a plush bunny that sits in a small box with a collection of ultrasound photos and small items for a baby that was never able to meet his mom and dad. This box rests on a bookshelf as a reminder of the first pregnancy that Amanda and her husband, Justin, had together before she miscarried at 13 weeks.
"I gathered everything up and put it in a box because every time I would see it, I would cry," Amanda wrote.
After coming across their positive pregnancy test, it prompted her to pull the box out of the front hall closet where it was stowed.
"My husband and I went through it and decided we wanted to keep it out. We plan on sharing the box with our future children so they will always know about our first pregnancy," she wrote.
"Sometimes I wish I could get the #Ihadamiscarriage hash-tag tattooed to my forearm but even then, some people still wouldn’t understand. Sometimes, I don’t even understand," Amanda wrote in a Facebook post. "I am a mother, yet I don’t fit in with all my Mommy friends who are planning play dates, soothing teething toddlers, or marveling at their little ones first milestones. I am a mother, yet my arms and uterus are so painfully empty, sometimes the hurt is just too much to bear. I am a mother, yet the world doesn’t recognize me as such."
Three months after marrying her husband, who she had been dating since 2014, the 28-year-old Instructor Therapist was surprised that morning when she took a pregnancy test.
"I was laughing and joking with my husband while taking it. We figured there was no way we were pregnant," she wrote on Facebook. "The doctor had said we’d have trouble conceiving because of my wonky cycles and on top of that, I had had my usual PMS symptoms, complete with a now hysterically funny meltdown over my husbands haphazard shelving of the groceries the night before. We couldn’t possibly be pregnant, right?"
To her surprise, everything changed that morning.
"Within seconds, that urine-soaked stick changed our lives. Within seconds, the reality that we were now parents to a teeny tiny human sunk in. A pink urine soaked stick with two distinctive lines held our hopes, our dreams, our prayers, and our fears," she wrote on Facebook.
Amanda has worked with children with autism for the past 7 years, but nothing could have prepared her for what motherhood had in store.
Continue to the next page to see how her life changed.