Have an ex that's still bugging you long after you broke up?
Want to send a Valentine's Day surprise that shows just how much you loathe them?
A zoo in Helmsley, England has just the thing for you: a chance to get back at your ex by sponsoring a much more noble creature, a humble cockroach.
The Helmsley Conservation Center is selling off the naming rights to their latest brood of cockroaches, for the very reasonable price of $2 a name.
"We are offering the chance to name a cockroach in honor of your worthless ex-'someone' on this special holiday of love," the zoo wrote in a statement on their website.
"We are highlighting these creatures through our 'name a cockroach program' (we think adopt is a little too strong, after all - you probably don't want to adopt your ex) to raise money for our projects at the zoo."
In the spirit of the season, the zoo is encouraging insect lovers to name the bugs after their former flames. Each bug's no-good namesake will be listed on their exhibit, so visitors from around the world will be able to see that your former partner did you wrong.
The zoo is also sending out birth certificates for each bug, with space for the sponsor to write a special message (they don't want to get between feuding exes, so whatever you write is your responsibility).
Whether or not cockroaches make you squirm, you have to admit it's a clever way for the zoo to raise money while helping jilted lovers get the last laugh.
Each name certificate also comes with a free entry to the zoo, so you could visit your "ex" in person and wave to them from the other side of the glass enclosure.
Although, we have no idea how to pick out which cockroach is yours. Maybe you'll recognize them.
You could get revenge for yourself, or do a favor for a recently dumped friend by naming the bug after their "ex-someone." The possibilities for this fun and feisty promotion are only limited by your imagination.
Or, in case you don't feel like treating an innocent cockroach as a pawn in your messy love life, feel free to pick a regular cockroach name, like Harold, Matilda, or Buzzy.
[H/T: The Sun]