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Man's Giant Poop Mistaken For A Bomb Threat At Home Depot

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There are two types of people in this world. People who discreetly use the bathroom and don't make a big deal about their normal bodily functions, and men.

I'm not sure why, but most guys I meet are open, very open, about their bodily functions. Whether it's peeing, farting or pooping, I feel like I get a play by play every time one of my friends comes back from the bathroom.

Communication is great, but there is a time where it's perfectly healthy to just shut up.

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My brother once told me that he "gave birth" to an eight-pound food baby. Why did he tell me that? I don't know. Have I ever gotten the image out of my head? Absolutely not.

Men can be proud poopers and I'm sure you know of one or two yourself, but one man in Wichita, Kansas might have been just a little bit too proud.

According to a police report, the man, who is unidentified as of yet, walked into a bathroom at his local Home Depot hardware store and issued a warning to the occupants.

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"You all need to get out of here because I'm fixin' to blow it up," he said, before ambling over to a stall.

I guess his "food baby" was full term and it was time to deliver.

The problem was that one or more of the people in the bathroom thought he was serious. They called the police, who showed up to Home Depot fully prepared to deal with an explosive situation.

Wikipedia

They got one, just not the kind they were expecting.

They investigated the store and found nothing suspicious. After tracking down the, now unencumbered, man they realized there had been a massive misunderstanding.

I would have loved to listen in on that conversation.

This should be a lesson to the fellas out there. Maybe next time just mutter a discreet: "I'm going to use the bathroom."

I've been writing for Shared for 6 years. Along with my cat Lydia, I search for interesting things to share with you! You can reach me at Tristan@shared.com.