It is not uncommon to get remarried after a divorce. It is common for both individuals to have their children from previous relationships. Some children find it difficult to understand why their parents got divorced or why they choose to get remarried.
If you are planning to get married as a divorced parent, you must find ways of helping your children to cope with the new family conditions they will be entering. Here are four considerations you need to keep in mind when you plan to remarry after divorce with kids.
1. Take Things Slowly
Getting into a new relationship is exhilarating, you have new hopes for the new life with your partner. You will begin to envisage what a future will be like for the two of you. It is very natural for you to feel this way, but you must also be mindful of your children's feelings during this sensitive time. This is why you need to pace your new relationship despite the urge to boost it. You should only introduce your new partner to your children when you know that both are truly committed to the relationship.
After they meet, you have to allow your new partner and children to get to know each other and create a bond. You must do this before deciding to get remarried. Doing it will give you and your partner the chance to get used to a life together with the children. This will help you decide if marriage is the next step.
2. Discuss Your Future Life Together
After both of you have decided that you will get married, you need to talk to each other and discuss what you both want life to be like after marriage, especially if the children will be living with you. You need to discuss how the rules of the house will be, what the daily routine of you and the children will be, and how both of you will work on the children's parenting and discipline. These are all critical issues that often lead to conflicts over parenting styles, so you need to try and reach an agreement beforehand.
This situation worsens if one or both of you are entering into a marriage with children. You must work out plans by establishing clear communication channels between you. You will also need to discuss finances as the regular expenses can quickly become the point of contention between couples.
A prenup might help in most cases to iron out such issues, especially if you are a high-net-worth individual and you need to protect the finances of yourself and your children. Talk to an experienced Prenup Agreement Lawyer who can guide you through the process.
3. Don't Badmouth the Other Parent
You should never badmouth your co-parent, especially in front of your children. They might get upset, which might negatively influence their feelings for the other parent. You should also see that your new partner should not bad-mouth your co-parent in front of the children. This might create a rift between your new partner and your children.
You must remain cool in front of your kids, no matter how you or your partner feel about your ex, who is also a co-parent to your kids. If you must vent and let out your feelings for your co-parent, do so at an appropriate time and place. If you need someone and someplace to vent your emotions, consider working with a therapist. They are excellent at offering you third-party advice.
As you are working towards not bad-mouthing or speaking poorly in front of your kids about your co-parent, you have to also encourage your new partner to do the same. Similarly, you must also be respectful of any other parents who might be in the picture and considerate about their relationship with the children. Take care of yourself so you can take proper care of your children during this phase.
4. Keep Regular Communications With Your Attorney
Getting remarried after divorce might seem like a simple deal, but the whole scenario and your decision to get married again might be impacted due to having children from your previous marriage. Legal issues play a big part in this scenario. Depending on where you live, the law might obligate you to go through a post-divorce waiting period. This generally indicates that any individual should have to wait for a certain period before they can legally remarry.
The decree of divorce will usually state what is to be done when either of the parties expresses the desire to remarry. To get a clear direction in such a case, you must discuss your options for remarriage after going through a divorce with your attorney. An experienced lawyer will be able to address all your queries and concerns and give you clear directions by laying out all your options in this particular scenario.
If you do not have an attorney, you will need to review your divorce paperwork to know what the law has stated. You should do full research about the legal matters concerning divorce for the state where you legally ended your marriage. You can move ahead with remarriage only after fully adhering to the laws about divorce and remarriage in your state.
Deciding to get remarried after divorce might seem like a new beginning to many. It is a chance to get the happiness you couldn't achieve in the previous marriage. Things are slightly sensitive when you have children of a prior marriage. Hopefully, our points on addressing the matter if you want to get remarried when you have children have guided you to make your decision-making process easier. Good luck with your new life!