Did You Know | Health

How To Fart In Public Without Anyone Knowing

Ronnie Arias

In many cultures, farting is seen as impolite and dirty.

But when your intestines feel like they're churning to the point where you feel sick, you know it's unhealthy if you don't let it go. If a bathroom is not close by and you're in a public setting, what do you do? Or what if your fart happens to be let out by accident?

Whatever the case may be, here are some helpful tips for those who are afraid to let it rip in public.

Mitigate the smell

If you're carrying perfume, cologne, or any other strong-smelling product with you, release that strong-smelling odor before you release your foul one.

If you're not prepared, try walking by somewhere that smells bad, for example the seafood aisle or trash cans.

Play the blame game

This one may be the most burdening thing on your conscience, but for those who feel completely mortified by passing gas, you'll have to opt for this one. According to P.J. Whitehill, the author of Catch That and Paint it Purple: A Complete Guide to Farting, there should at least be three people in your vicinity to place the blame on.

No one will agree on where the smell or sound came from, so all you need to create is that "aura of suspicion". The trick here is to wait for someone to smell it first, then act like you're disgusted. You're probably familiar with the saying, "He who smelt it dealt it."

These next ones might be a life-saver!

Wait for the cue

You don't have to be invisible to get away with passing gas in an elevator. By no means is it an easy feat, but it can be accomplished with a little patience.

Some people recommend farting only when the elevator door opens because the door will make a noise, someone will leave and new people may come in. This only works if the elevator is crowded, not if you're standing there with one other person. In that case, you'll have to be a little more patient. The trick here is to use noise as a way to mask your own bodily sound.

Just let it go

This may only work if you're in a heavily-crowded public place. If you happen to be able to coincide the fart with another noise, it'll work even better. Don't fret if your fart happens to be silent but deadly, people will look around suspiciously--and you should too. The smell will waft away faster than you think.

Bonus Tips:

  • Clench your butt muscles while standing or sitting to weaken or silence the fart.
  • Release the gas in intervals.

If all this sounds like effort to you, or now you realize you really don't care what other people think, just own up to the fart. Then proceed to apologize and explain why it happened. At least you'll make someone laugh.

Also, don't forget to check out 12 Things You Should Probably Know About Your Farts.

Would you do any of these?

Moojan has been a writer at Shared for a year. When she's not on the lookout for viral content, she's looking at cute animal photos. Reach her at moojan@shared.com.